atheist/Theist Relationship

Newbie Joined: May 30, 2008 Posts: 10

I don't know how to be an atheist/naturalist in a relationship with a Theist. I mean she doesn't care about a lot of the things I care about. I can't really talk about things I really want to talk about without her basically just either ignoring me or just shutting down. Sometimes I end up feeling like im an asshole just for saying some things I do. Or hell disbelieving the way I do. What do I do???

Newbie First Class Joined: May 03, 2008 Posts: 33

hey Im an athiest married to a thiest and she still thinks that god has a plan for her.
The first year that i was married to her. her folks die, so it was really difficult to explain why this has happen as you can imagine, but she still believe that one day she will be with them, and I say nothing. meanwhile thinking she is delusional. but hey thats what make her happy right?

Newbie Joined: Feb 14, 2008 Posts: 14

alcatolic wrote:

hey Im an atheist married to a thiest and she still thinks that god has a plan for her.
The first year that i was married to her. her folks die, so it was really difficult to explain why this has happen as you can imagine, but she still believe that one day she will be with them, and I say nothing. meanwhile thinking she is delusional. but hey thats what make her happy right?

I disagree
If she truly believes she will see them again then she is messing with the grieving process. She needs to learn to let go.

to the OP: I don't think I could be in that kind of relationship. I have been in that situation before, several times, eventually it got to me. every time I would spark up a conversation, confront her with logic and reason in such a way as to show her the folly of her religious ways. of course these relationships didn't last long.

I have a good friend who believes in god. he calls himself a christian, I have told him that he doesn't act like a christian. he has actually been excommunicated from his family's church. I have laid out the logical argument against god, he doesn't argue with it, he just says he has personally experienced god, I have explained that there is a perfectly reasonable scientific explanation of that, I have experienced it too actually. but he rejects that, because I guess no one has felt what he feels, he knows it to be true.

the point is, in personal relationships, if you actually care about the relationship then you shouldn't try to convert them. OR; if it is important for you that you share your philosophy with your partner, then you should not try to convert your partner, you need to just find another.

personally, I find it difficult to have respect for someone who looks right at the evidence and yet still rejects it.

Newbie First Class Joined: May 03, 2008 Posts: 33

personally, I find it difficult to have respect for someone who looks right at the evidence and yet still rejects it.[/quote]
hey we can agree to disagree respect is the basis of any relationship
nobody is perfect right? only god Laughing

Posted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 3:34 am

I personally couldn't hack it, and luckily I didn't have to.

Grand Poster Joined: Oct 24, 2005 Posts: 2505

I talk about science a lot, I even have trouble with people who aren't theists.

Posted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 2:26 am

It didn't take me long to convince my wife once I became an atheist. I just took out the Bible and showed her where exactly God is actually mean as monsters, and how one can conclude that the Bible is based on myth, legend, and a little bit of history.

Newbie Joined: May 30, 2008 Posts: 10

It's kinda hard when she completely admits she doesn't WANT to know that god most likely doesn't exist. She doesn't want to loose that "warm" feeling that there is someone watching over her. I think im at the point now where Im just going to let her have it. Other than the shitty belief department she's really worth holding on to. So I think im going to take this issue out of the game and not make it an important thing for me at all.. well until she starts wanting me to believe or starts to try to get me to believe.. then that will be a different ball game all together. But she's really not that type of person so I don't think that will be much, if at all, of an issue. Thank you all for all of your input. I appreciate and value you it immensely.

Graduate Thinker Joined: Apr 21, 2004 Posts: 621

The last girl I dated was super Christian (in the fake sort of way -- it was basically a social club) despite the fact that I adhered to more Christian morals than she did, but she still preached a lot of the nonsense. Ughhh but she was sooo attractive, so I was conflicted.

I'm now with a girl who went to Catholic school and believes in God but doesn't preach anything. In fact she recently learned about some of the nonsense in Leviticus. Seriously? You didn't know this already? I was a little bit proud when she told me that she ranked 39/40 in her class for religious studies.

It really remains to be seen whether this can work for me, since skepticism and... er, rationality , is such a large part of my life. It's hard for me to find a girl I can actually converse with who doesn't also have other serious flaws.

Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 1:24 pm

Choc wrote:

In fact she recently learned about some of the nonsense in Leviticus. Seriously? You didn't know this already? I was a little bit proud when she told me that she ranked 39/40 in her class for religious studies.

It took me more than 20 years, even though I had been Catholic, then Pentecostal/Apostolic, and debated other religious people, before learning about the non-sense in the Bible. We were too busy debating whether God was Jesus, Mary had more children, Jesus died in a cross or not, or if there was a hell or not. Besides, we where too busy preaching Jesus' love and God's message to even read the rest of the Bible. Yup, I was super ignorant.

Just Arrived Joined: Jun 29, 2008 Posts: 2

Theists, Atheists, and Agnostics are mistaken. God exists (or not) pursuant to the definition of EXIST and NOT because you can prove or disprove God's existence.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P9kA6dbaer4

Graduate Thinker Joined: Mar 26, 2008 Posts: 519

When I say god most likely doesn't exist, of course I am talking of 'is god real'. I am not talking of does the concept exist as a concept, I am talking of 'does the concept exist as a physical reality'. My question would be 'is a basic creator god or god of truth there (there being a physical place, not in someone's mind or as a concept in a dictionary)?'.

Just Arrived Joined: Jun 29, 2008 Posts: 2

Cygnus wrote:

When I say god most likely doesn't exist, of course I am talking of 'is god real'. I am not talking of does the concept exist as a concept, I am talking of 'does the concept exist as a physical reality'. My question would be 'is a basic creator god or god of truth there (there being a physical place, not in someone's mind or as a concept in a dictionary)?'.

Concepts cannot be said to exist; therefore, we agree. When we talk about the existence of God, we are referring to a physical object and not to an abstract concept such as love or justice.

My argument is that belief and knowledge play no part in the issue of existence. It is just as irrational to say that 'I believe that God exists' as it is to say that 'I believe that God doesn't exist'. God exists or doesn't irrespective of our beliefs (or knowledge).

'The existence of God is not a theory, but rather a hypothesis. The only scientific context of the word exist is as an assumption:

'Let us assume that God exists...'

and not

'and therefore, I believe (or I have shown) that God exists (or doesn't).'

The existence of God can be used as a basis to explain a theory (e.g., why Jesus walked on water or returned form the dead.) It cannot be a theory in itself.

Resident Joined: Aug 31, 2006 Posts: 315

Theists want us to believe that without God, there would be no morality.

Theists keep forgetting two things:

One -- God is a human construct.

Two -- Morality is also a human construct.

And these two constructs are independent of each other.

Okay, they keep forgetting three things...

Graduate Thinker Joined: Mar 26, 2008 Posts: 519

If Christians want evidence that morality is independent from god, they should simply look in their own bible. According to the great flood story, the world before the flood was very sinful and yet, god still "existed". It is also because of Big Al that radical Muslims blow themselves up everyday to kill people. Is this moral in any way by our standards?

They always like to use the same old examples like Stalin and Pol Pot, forgetting that Hitler was a self-proclaimed Christian.


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