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Brian37
Master of Logic
Joined: Oct 04, 2003
Posts: 9384
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Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:42 am |
 
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Why the fuck to we name hurricanes? Even more so, we give them nice sounding names like "Frances" or "Hanna", what the fuck? No wonder people stay when they should leave, we name them after people we want to date! If we are going to be that absurd in naming storms why don't we call one "Cuddles". " Category 5 hurricane Cuddles is headed for Miami!"
No, we should name these storms what we really want to call them, we could even go down the alphabet.
A=Hurricane ASSHOLE!"
B=Hurricane BITCH!
C=Hurricane CUNT!
D= Hurricane DICKWAD!
E=Hurricane ENEMA!
F= Hurricane FUCK YOU!
G= Hurricane GOD DAMN IT!
H= Hurricane HOME WRECKER! (literal and appropreate)
But, that is just a side issue.
Why don't people leave? Huh? IT'S A FUCKING HURRICANE.! I know why, because the weatherman cant cuss. Did you ever notice that?
Weatherman Bob is all calm cool and collected, "Hurricane Frances has top wind speeds of 5 billion miles per hour" not a bit of sweat on his brow. The viewer at home, "I don't think we need to leave, that weatherman doesn't look too concerned"
NO, if you want people out of the city and state this is how the weatherman should sound: (Shouting raving lunatic)
"WE GOT A GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING HURRICANE HEADED OUR WAY, GET THE FUCK OUT! IF YOU ARE A DUMB ASS AND STAY, THANK YOU FOR THINNING OUT THE GENE POOL, WE DON'T NEED DIP SHITS LIKE YOU! OTHERWISE GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" |
Last edited by Brian37 on Tue Sep 09, 2008 8:55 am; edited 1 time in total |
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MockingGods
Philosophical Prodigy
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 4004
Location: USA
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Sun Sep 07, 2008 9:10 am |
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I = Mother nature fucking over the silly humans because of their stupid behavior. |
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SvZurich
Forum Master
Joined: Oct 07, 2003
Posts: 19049
Location: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washington DC
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Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:30 am |
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Waiting for S= Serves You Humans Right, Payback is a Bitch! |
_________________
Kimberly (HSBUH) aka
Baroness Sylvia von Zurich (the only Goldwater Conservative) endorses the Meadow Party's Bill and Opus for the 2008 Presidential election! |
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MockingGods
Philosophical Prodigy
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 4004
Location: USA
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Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:24 pm |
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| SvZurich wrote: |
| Waiting for S= Serves You Humans Right, Payback is a Bitch! |
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Cygnus
Graduate Thinker
Joined: Mar 26, 2008
Posts: 513
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Sun Sep 07, 2008 1:15 pm |
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Apparently it has something to do with making them sound more more human; there's some kind of psychological crap going on. Why not name hurricanes after serial killers and mass murderers? "As you can see, category 4 hurricane Jim Jones appears to be heading straight for New Orleans". Or how about hurricane Manson, Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin, or Mao? |
_________________
К чёрту вечность, какой в ней прок? |
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MockingGods
Philosophical Prodigy
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 4004
Location: USA
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Mon Sep 08, 2008 5:59 am |
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| Cygnus wrote: |
| Apparently it has something to do with making them sound more more human; there's some kind of psychological crap going on. Why not name hurricanes after serial killers and mass murderers? "As you can see, category 4 hurricane Jim Jones appears to be heading straight for New Orleans". Or how about hurricane Manson, Pol Pot, Hitler, Stalin, or Mao? |
Or we could stop anthropomorphizing unconsciously indirect natural occurrences and just number them if we have a need to keep track. Something like this...
1ah2008 = The first Atlantic Hurricane of 2008.
1ats2008 = The first Atlantic Tropical Storm of 2008.
Of course human naming conventions are easier to remember and it’s sort of cool when a big one with your name fucks a bunch of shit up.  |
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Brian37
Master of Logic
Joined: Oct 04, 2003
Posts: 9384
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Mon Sep 08, 2008 8:59 pm |
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Someone on another board rightly pointed out, "Why do they have those stupid reporters standing in the middle of these monsters leaning into the wind? Like we cant figure out it is a strong storm"
So I responded,
Reporter Bob(leaning into the wind), "In case you can't understand the severity of this storm, it just blew off all my pubic hair". |
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MockingGods
Philosophical Prodigy
Joined: Nov 14, 2002
Posts: 4004
Location: USA
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Tue Sep 09, 2008 5:44 am |
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| Brian37 wrote: |
Someone on another board rightly pointed out, "Why do they have those stupid reporters standing in the middle of these monsters leaning into the wind? Like we cant figure out it is a strong storm"
So I responded,
Reporter Bob(leaning into the wind), "In case you can't understand the severity of this storm, it just blew off all my pubic hair". |
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Partisan
Newbie First Class
Joined: Aug 29, 2008
Posts: 33
Location: Dominican Republic
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Wed Sep 10, 2008 6:38 am |
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| Brian37 wrote: |
Someone on another board rightly pointed out, "Why do they have those stupid reporters standing in the middle of these monsters leaning into the wind? Like we cant figure out it is a strong storm"
So I responded,
Reporter Bob(leaning into the wind), "In case you can't understand the severity of this storm, it just blew off all my pubic hair". |
!!! |
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