Social advice

The Learned Joined: Aug 14, 2006 Posts: 123

Hi, I just needed some help with some problems I've been having. I've become more and more involved over the past year in studying what I want to focus my life on. That being history, politics, science and religion. I got really into it especially because I stopped talking to old friends and failed to make new ones. I'm busy with school and work most of the time so I don't have too much going on, but I've come to the point where I've completely alienated and isolated myself. I don't really care about things that are not that important, so now I find it extremely difficult to socially interact with people. I feel like I can't talk to people, especially girls, about anything unless it's something I'm worked up about with politics.

Has anyone ever been through the same thing? I just don't even know where to start. I've been lonely. The worse part is that no one gives a shit about politics around here so I'm in my own world. I'm not going to lose my focus in my studies, but I need a life. Any advice?

Thanks.

Should I post another thread like this in the poly sci section?

Resident Joined: Oct 13, 2005 Posts: 360 Location: USA

That is frighteningly similar to what I experience, very similar. The only difference for me is that I never really felt lonely, I didn't even mind being alone, because I had plenty of people to debate with on my blog.

The Learned Joined: Aug 14, 2006 Posts: 123

DarkReign wrote:

That is frighteningly similar to what I experience, very similar. The only difference for me is that I never really felt lonely, I didn't even mind being alone, because I had plenty of people to debate with on my blog.

That's funny because my blog is packed with my views and no one ever takes me up on them. I often chat with people via myspace, etc, but I need some friends to actually hang out with and have face to face conversations.

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 12:19 am

Where do you live?

The Learned Joined: Aug 14, 2006 Posts: 123

buffalo, ny

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 10:52 am

Well this takes 'social issues' to a very literal level.

I'm a student myself (i'm assuming you're one as well) and as such i'm all too aware of how difficult it can be to juggle workloads, a social life and sometimes even a job all at once. For me no matter what the day, there is either something or someone wanting to take up my time (always to the detriment of the other).

From what you've written i'd say you've recognised just how important a social life is. Yes your academic obligations are important, but at this stage there is no way they should be ruling your life to the point where you don't enjoy it.

Now if you really are starting a scoial life from scratch, then the first things you need are people to socialise with. If you can't just go back to your old friends, then make new ones. If you're no good at making new ones, then practice a few confidence and character building exercises first. Try walking down the corridor of your school, or around campus while humming or singing to music from your headphones. Learn some good jokes and try reproducing them infront of other people. "I heard this joke, but I don't know if I should laugh at it or not. Can you help?"
Furthermore, if you're at a school then there must be clubs and societies running that will accept new members. Find one that interests you, it's a sure fire guarantee that the other members of it will find whatever it's about interesting as well. This is as good of a basis for a new social life as you could hope for.

Life is what you make of it.

The Learned Joined: Sep 04, 2005 Posts: 145

Question: You said that you have a hard time talking to girls. But do you know what to talk about if you were to? Or do you just don't know what simple topics to stick with at first? I ask because once you know what to say, the only problem is that first sentence being like tearing off a bandage quickly - you get a little panicked but afterward it calms down. And making sure not to come off creepy. heh

The Learned Joined: Aug 14, 2006 Posts: 123

Thanks for the help.

Bates wrote:

Question: You said that you have a hard time talking to girls. But do you know what to talk about if you were to? Or do you just don't know what simple topics to stick with at first? I ask because once you know what to say, the only problem is that first sentence being like tearing off a bandage quickly - you get a little panicked but afterward it calms down. And making sure not to come off creepy. heh

I can usually come up with things to talk about that isn't about politics, but yeah I often have trouble with what topics to stick with. My problem is not just coming up with topics to talk about, but to actuallly be an interesting person to talk to.

Posted: Wed Dec 06, 2006 3:23 pm

I know EXACTLY what you mean ChosenByPasta. I am very much an introverted individual. I left high school with TONS of friends, but for the next 10 years, I slowly isolated myself until I was completely alone in the world. I spent WAY too much time in my own head and forgot how to interact with others. Trying to talk to anyone felt like trying to do a waltz while wearing rollerblades. I was completely akward and socially inept!

I hate advertising for others, but this material is the exception to the rule. Check out this website, http://www.doubleyourdating.com/ . This guy is extremely cerebral. I spent a lot of time studying all of his materials and applying them. Today, I have a fairly large circle of friends, a GF that is everything I ever wanted in a woman, and a mastermind group that is pushing me towards success.

I suggest starting with the program "On Being a Man". This program resonated to the core of my being and was the greatest catylist for positive change in my life. After you listen to it, listen to it 2 more times and then get the books he refers to and read them. After a few months of working on this material, you will find that you have become a different person and interacting with other people becomes practically effortless and enjoyable.


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