Okay, I've been checking out a few personals sites lately and have expanded my options to include religious folks just to see what they are looking for in their mate. The most common thing I keep seeing is, "I am God-Fearing and looking for the same". God-Fearing? I am so sick of this phrase. It's such a parroted and useless phrase. I rank this phrase below "Bless you" when someone sneezes.
I have asked dozens of believers what do they mean by "God-fearing" and the answers are all varied. However, I will attempt to address their responses during the course of this article.
First of all, a God-fearing man is no guarantee of a good match! Most of the women posting this should know this since they were involved with many past Christian lovers.
Not to mention, 70-80% of the men they meet are Christian anyway. So, why focus on the fear?Let's break down what's wrong with the phrase, "God-Fearing".
First of all, what kind of God does one believe in that they must fear him constantly? I thought Yahweh was a god of love and compassion[sic]. Some have tried to argue that what they really mean here is that they respect God immensely. Well, fear is not the same as respect. Why not just say, "God respecting" instead? Or even, "God loving".
To fear a loving, compassionate, understanding and holy parent is quite strange. Let's analyze fear. Now, fear according to dictionary.com is:
1.a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
What in the hell are you Christian ladies doing that you feel you have to fear god so much!!? Or is your god just that cruel and malicious?
The seventh definition of fear, way at the bottom, says: 7.to have reverential (deeply respectful) awe of.
Reverential awe equals Fear?.. since when? Even the root of this word doesn't mean this. Sounds like Random House randomly through a crap definition in there. However, tis not their fault, as we all know.. words are defined by how we use them. However, this one doesn't make any sense. Might as well say, Hate is smiling painfully or something. Just doesn't follow.
Also, how can "fear" equal reverential awe when so many other theists believe in God without fear and yet they have a reverential awe for a designer of the Universe? Hmmm.? I have a reverential awe for the Cosmos... no fear at all... well ok maybe I do have a fear. Like an energy ribbon or something that can wipe out my existence.. the difference though is that I don't think the Universe loves me, is protecting me, etc. Whatever substance in the fabric of existence that allows us to be, is completely impersonal in my view. But the believer that truly believes that they have some personal relationship with an inaudible, non-physical, loving entity, shouldn't promote fear so much I think.
Fear, unfortunately, is ingrained within many religious beliefs, and I think that's particularly sad. Talk of Hell, God's wrath, plagues, mass extinctions and genocide... no wonder his devotees think it's perfectly fine to promote and espouse "fear" as a virtue.
I feared my parents the most when I knew I was doing something wrong and was concerned about the punishment. My dad for instance hit/spanked me as punishment most times. This looming threat had me always in a state of fear. I was afraid that I could just make a simple mistake and get beaten. I feared my Dad too much to love him or respect him. As I matured and fear subsided, I learned to love him, and the respect is still building and repairing. With that fear gone, it allowed me to love openly. Love and fear cannot exist simultaneously. Perhaps at different times.. but not at the same time. So again, why focus on fear when there is allegedly so much more to God?
Then there are those that only do what they think is right out of fear of angering God. How can you truly be a good person then if you are ONLY doing what's right out of fear and not because you know it intrinsically? Surely God would know the difference.
Basically, this is how I see it. When you fear someone or something.. it's usually because of a threat to you physically or emotionally. Now, one can fear losing respect, fear of losing trust. These fears deal with one's opinion of you and are not life threatening usually. But, if one believes that a negative review by God could equal their eternal torture... then it's all one in the same fear.. fear of God's punishment.
"Fear Thy Lord God," the Bible says. Why? You plan on hurting me oh Lord?
"Fear" is translated from the Hebrew word, yare' (yaw-ray), which is in the Bible as “fear” 188 times, “afraid” 78 times, “terrible” 23 times, “terrible thing” six times, “dreadful” five times, “reverence” only three times, “fearful” twice, “terrible acts” once, and translated miscellaneously eight times. A few self-help Bibles and concordances try to focus on the reverence parts, but when you read the scriptures where these entries are recorded yourself, you quickly see that, "fear grovelingly" fits perfectly as well.
Side Note: In the NT the word for reverence is Aidos, which.. oops, just so happens to be the Goddess of Conscience, the goddess of reverence or shame. Fits better me thinks. Seems like the more modern idea of reverence comes from the Greeks, not the Hebrews.
Hmm.. perhaps, what the believer is really trying to convey when re says, "God-fearing" is: "Fear losing God's confidence and/or trust in you". This makes more sense. Well.. it makes sense provided that God is NOT all-knowing. But that's another discussion.
I see the inevitability of a perpetual fear once you accept the idea that we are all sinners and deserving of Hell. Following the logical path that I have heard many believers take: [ If The Fall of man story is true, no human is ultimately good.. if so, then humans are wretched, evil sinners. If humans are innately evil then we should be afraid of God for we are deserving of Hell every nanosecond of our existence. ] What year is this again? Do we really believe such madness? To remain in fear and disgust of being human cannot be healthy for our growing society and I doubt it does wonders for our kid's esteem.
Okay, look ladies, I know you've been taught this all of your life.. but please.. it truly makes zero sense.. I know you've managed to trick yourselves into believing it's a powerful statement.. but it really isn't. It's as vacuous as say... the phrase, "God Bless The USA". Just Stop It!
If God is supposed to be love. I don't fear love.
"Fear Thyself." - Me